Sunday, May 20, 2007


I feel guilty playing when my next-door neighbors are working so diligently, just a few feet from where I sit. They painted that whole side of their house in one day, while my day consisted of fifteen minute stints demolishing my bathroom interspersed with long tea breaks. I did run the vacuum cleaner for a while. Sheesh. They're right outside my window. Not looking...not looking...assume serious facial expression and pretend am writing something important.

Jon and I are having a disagreement about prioritzing the long list of things that need to be done on our house. I feel like our semi-functional bathroom is a serious liability. What if something happened and we had to sell our house? No one would buy it with a torn-apart bath with no door and no sink. Jon, on the other hand, feels that what our house needs most is new paint and new gutters. We've hired some gutter guys, so that's one thing taken care of.

The painting, we'll have to do ourselves and are now trying to decide on colors. The current color scheme of tan with cream trim is unobjectionable but boring.

We are limited by the fact that our tin roof is painted bright red. We're thinking gray with whitish/pale gray trim, but I worry that might look gloomy or muddy. Brown is a possibility, but risky, since we don't want the neighbors secretly wondering why we wanted a shit colored house. There's a house several blocks away that is freshly painted pink. Pink stucco is fabulous, and I would totally go for a pink house if it weren't for the red roof. Purple--yes, purple--is another possibility.

Anyway, Jon is right that the house needs paint, but I am also right that we must finish this bathroom. Last night Jon washed his hands of it, saying that the bathroom was entirely my project. At first I was taken aback, now I feel liberated. If this is my project then it's 100% mine and my first executive decision is that the shower has got to go. I don't care if it's functional, it's completely insane to redo an entire bathroom and leave this execresence in the middle of it.

While the neighbors took their lunch break, I removed the last few tiles from a nearly inaccessible spot of floor behind the toilet. This would have been much easier if the toilet had been taken out. The toilet will have to go eventually, but I am trying to postphone that evil day for as long as possible. A while back, I read a hilarious article in The Washington Post about a couple who renovated the bathroom in their Georgetown townhouse. They were literally peeing into the hole in the floor where their toilet used to be. The female half of the couple achieved this with a funnel and a long tube. For nature's other call, they used neighbors and public bathrooms, and lived in this toiletless state for months. But they had no children.

1 comment:

  1. HAHHAHAHAHA!!! Peeing in a hole where the toilet used to be. That is rich. Souunds like something I would cheerfully suffer through if I weren't married to Dan. Dan who would not pee in the floor -- no imagination, that man.

    We also have an awful bathroom. I tried to remove the strange peely wallpaper years ago and gave up with it, like, 80 percent off... it has so many weird angles and problems (it's under the stairs) that... I have no idea what to do with it, except to call in professionals.

    I love your blogger nick, Patience. Hehehe. I linked you up from the photoblog.