Monday, March 03, 2008

Toilets and checks

It was my weekend to work so I feel like I have been underground for two days. I am in two minds about resigning from my job, which is a go-nowhere, bottom-of-the-heap job that I hate. The only perk is the paycheck. Well, that and free TB screenings. The paycheck is small, but I'm the sort of person who likes to think that every little bit counts.

For some reason, my department, within the institution for which I work, is treated like the red-headed step child. For example, one of the employee bathrooms has been out of order for four weeks. FOUR fucking weeks. The toilet is broken, and there's a sign on the door about how parts are "on order." Are you kidding me? Toilet parts are simple things. They can be easily obtained. The reason for this is that people get really, really upset when they have no facilities, hence the easy availability of new toilets and parts for toilets. Yesterday, someone made a new sign and posted it over the "parts on order" sign: FOUR WEEKS AND COUNTING.

I think that they're waiting for another toilet to break, that has usable parts that will fit our toilet, and then our toilet will be fixed. They are that cheap, in my institution.

There's a bathroom in the employee lounge, but this bathroom is distant from the work area, and, since the other bathroom is broken, there is now frequently a line. Not to mention the extremely hectic environment in our department. Even under ideal conditions, there's barely time to use the bathroom. You don't have time to wait and you don't have time to walk all the way to the lounge.

I am almost out of checks. Buying new checks is an activity fraught with uncertainty. What statement do you want your checks to say about you? There's always the Blue Safety, but those are boring, and God knows, nobody wants boring checks. The checks I have now are in pale colors, with even paler polka dots. I feel like I want to try something different. I looked online and discovered checks to reflect almost any lifestyle, interest, hobby, or philosophy.

The check companies know well that when we write a check, we want to present a certain image. The company I'm browsing now has categories like Elite Exclusive, Animal Attractions, Photo Checks, Classic Designs, Cartoon, Floral, Religious, Patriotic, Scenic, Polka Dot Monagram, Paper People and more. (What? No Sexual Deviants?) Read the copy for the Hip and Cool designs:
Hip & Cool Checks!
If expressing how hip and cool you are is important, then look no further! These checks definitely make a statement!



These are categories. Within each category are dozens of designs. There's one called the "Kate" check. Are they hoping people will think it's Kate Spade? Does Kate Spade make checks?

If no design appeals to you, you can do this:
There's a "Park Avenue" design--a muted, classy blue--for those who are insecure about their social standing. There's a "Wall Street" too, another muted design, although in a money shade of green. And let's face it. People do judge you by your checks. What would you think of someone who wrote you a check that was decorated with Disney characters? Or someone who gave you this check?

As you can see, I have a major decision to make. I'm looking for the perfect hip-but-not-wannabe-classy-literary-financially responsible-this-check-would-never-bounce check.

1 comment:

  1. My checks have bugs . . . cockroaches, stag beetles, flies, and ants. Great shadows. It makes paying bills somewhat of a pleasure.

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