Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Pizza

We ordered pizza from Domino's last night. We don't usually order from Domino's, but Mr. McP had been awarded a coupon for a free 10" cheese pizza--a perk for being named Citizen of the Week at his school.

I hate those free pizza coupons. Your kid pesters you incessantly until you redeem it, and since a single 10" pizza can not feed an entire family, you are thus forced to order more pizza, and the value of your free pizza is entirely lost. Or, you can take your kid out for a private lunch, just the two of you, except that my kids can smell a free lunch for a sibling that they weren't invited to from a mile away and it is easier and less stressful to just fork over the dollars and provide pizza for all.

So, Dominoes. When you call you get a long message encouraging you to order online, and it seemed like no one was ever going to pick up the phone, so I did as encouraged and ordered online, and in the process adopted a dim view of the Domino's corporation. For one thing, they refused to accept my coupon and also refused to allow me to defer payment until pickup time, so I had to pay for the entire order up front. Even more annoying was the assault on my sensibilities of corporate pizza culture's idea of what the American pizza consumer expects from his on-line pizza purveyor. As soon as I placed the order, I was informed that "Logan" was "custom-making" my pizza. A frankly phallic "pizza tracker" appeared across my screen, allowing me to track by the minute what stage of development my pizza had reached. The final indignity was that I was asked to tell them which political party I am affiliated with. Are you kidding me? I just gave these people my name, address, telephone number, email address and credit card number and now they want to know if I'm a Democrat or a Republican? I don't think so. It's not that prefer to keep my political leanings a deep, dark secret, but I do think it's rude to solicit this type of information from people, even if you are a corporate pizza giant. Especially if you are a corporate pizza giant.

I was quite irritated by the time the pizza tracker announced that my pizza was "ready for pickup" and half planned to give "Logan" a tiny piece of my mind, but he turned out to be very nice and was sincerely sorry that my coupon was rejected, and that he couldn't refund me the price of my "free" 10" pizza. It isn't his fault he works for the supreme douchebag of corporations.

Usually when we want corporate pizza, we order from Papa John's since they have managed to not piss me off too much, although their pizza is mediocre. We used to go to the Pizza Hut on E. High St.--I think it has been closed down, and with good reason. One day, it started pouring rain, just as I was about to pay for the pizza. The clerk said, "Wait a minute--I have to go close my car windows," and she dashed away, leaving me alone and fuming at the counter. My car windows were open too, but I didn't try to interrupt the transaction because I had been taught that it is rude to keep people waiting.

The next time I went to Pizza Hut, Miss Wait-here-while-I-run-to-my-car was manning the counter again. This time she was shouting into the telephone, "Hey, can you come in and cover for Marlene because she's sick as a dog." I looked at Marlene. She really did look sick as a dog. Not only that, she was assembling a pizza. She had, most likely, assembled my pizza! I was faced with a terrible choice: Reject the pizza and go home and cook dinner for six angry people, or take my chances with the pizza that Marlene Sick-as-a-Dog Pizza girl had made. I reflected that pizza ovens reach a temperature of 800 degrees Fahrenheit and placed my bet with Marlene. We did not get sick, but needless to say, that is the last time we ever ordered from Pizza Hut.

I have yet to find a decent pizza in Charlottesville. Don't talk to me about Christian's--yes, their slices are delicious, but they're too respendent with gourmet ingredients to be considered real pizza. Real pizza--I find that my grasp of written language is inadequate to desribe real pizza. All I can say is, I know it when I see it, and I've never seen it in Charlottesville. I have heard good things about Fabio's but the one time I tried to order from them, their phone was disconnected. Perhaps one day I shall bestow upon them my custom.

6 comments:

  1. We like Fabios -- in fact, it's one of our new faves. We also really like the pizza at Vita Nova (formerly Sylvia's). Don't get me started on any of the corporate pizza chains, especially CiCi's, which I flat out refuse to visit.

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  2. I'll second Fabio's. In fact, it replaced the Pizza Hut on E. High that you were so thrilled with.

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  3. I totally would have opted for the infected pizza over the make dinner myself.

    I have yet to find a good pizza place in my neck of the woods either. Good luck with that.

    And what the hell is up with the Domino's polling? Weird.

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  4. definitely give Fabio's another chance. the phone is hooked back up. they make a straightforward, fresh, non-corporate pizza that is very, very tasty.

    I particularly like the fact that when I have pizza at the restaurant with my 3 year old, the counter staff cuts up her piece of pizza into little squares.

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  5. Ooooh, my kid won a "free" kid's buffet and drink from a place serving up future heart attacks and diabetes... and rather than tell her, "No!" shelled out the forty dollars for the other four people who need dinner to also get our cholesterol on... er, eat dinner. Sorry to hear this food as a prize thing isn't just our schools.

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  6. I also like Fabio's, but hate the location.

    I did the on-line ordering from Domino's once (never mind how dreadful the pizza tastes, I didn't want to leave the house in rush hour traffic) and even scheduled a time for it to be delivered. Not only was it 15 minutes late, but according to the on-line tracker, it had been sitting out of the oven in the store for half an hour. And yes, it was pretty cold.

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