Wednesday, June 09, 2010

How is a window like a dog suppository

You know those tasks? Those tasks that, while they don't cause you actual physical pain are still seriously annoying? "Oh God, now I'll have to give the dog a suppository." "Oh God, it's time to take down the Christmas tree." For me, it was "Oh God, now I'll have to open the kitchen window." Opening the kitchen window involved climbing onto the counter top, balancing one foot on the narrow stainless steel bridge between the sinks and tugging with all your might until the sash began to rise, gained momentum and hit you in the chin. Jon once crushed his finger between the top and bottom sashes during a particularly vigorous window-closing effort. Not to mention the fact that the storm window shattered, oh, eight years ago allowing freezing winter air to infiltrate the kitchen, and the screen didn't fit tightly and wasps had moved in to the space between the screen and the glass. We were always like, "We have GOT to get a new kitchen window," but never did anything about it until recently.

So it was that as I slept after working night shift, an argument between two carpenters floated up to my bedroom from the kitchen, below. It seemed that one carpenter was afraid of wasps and the other one wasn't. It seemed to me that the sensible thing would be for the not-afraid carpenter to deal with the wasp's nest while the afraid one provided emotional support from a safe distance. Perhaps that is what actually happened. I went back to sleep--a sleep punctuated by roaring machinery--and when I awoke, the wasp-y window was gone and a new one in its place.

The carpenter said it would be a one-day job, but it actually took four full days. Our house seems to have been built by two drunk guys who made frequent visits to the dump. Everyone who has ever worked on our house has commented on the bizarre construction. The new window, however, is fabulous. I bought a top-of-the-line Architect series, appropriate-for-old houses window. Cheap replacement windows are an abomination! Don't ever buy them! Don't let your friends buy them! Our new window is a casement, so no need to climb on the counter top ever again. It's the little things.

Old Window

New Window:

New Window

Random picture of one of my kids misbehaving in a way that involves a window:
They have the whole world to play in, but they have to pick the roof.


  1. Casement windows are the best. Why sash windows even exist, I have no idea.

  2. It's beautiful.

  3. This is my biggest regret about the house we built--a sash window over the kitchen sink. What was I thinking? Your new window is gorgeous--and brilliant. And I still step onto my counter and into the sink to lift mine up and down.

  4. Nice! I like it.

    The title of this post is pure WIN, btw.

  5. I agree...Contrast this with double-hung windows, which are easy to break into by slipping a slim pry bar under the sash and lifting. The sash lock's screws pull right out of the wood.