Friday, June 24, 2011

Seen and Overheard around Charlottesville

On the downtown mall, man at outdoor restaurant table:  "I do sheepsheads with collards, sheepsheads with macaroni and cheese, sheepsheads with pork."
(I know a sheepshead is a fish, but up to this point, I thought it was a generic term for dead fish washed up on a beach.  I had no idea it is an actual species that people eat. )


A parent at the Walker Upper Elementary School graduation:  "I am SO hungover.  I do NOT want to be here."  (Me neither, honey.)

Cherry Ave, near the Salvation Army store:  two people walking down the street with a COUCH balanced on a SHOPPING CART.  They had not bought the couch, oh no, they were taking it to the S.A. to donate it.  It was pretty freaking hilarious, especially because they were IN the street rather than on the sidewalk, with the couch swaying wildly like a see-saw on an inadequate fulcrum.

At the Tea Bazaar:  "....it was nice that it was local. I mean, I could have just gone to the supermarket and bought some sort of 'meat product.' Now I can make something warm from the pelt and I'm going to make a wind chime out of the bones.  So it's win, win, lose, for the groundhog.  Now I can't wait to use my bow and arrow again."


At Whole Foods on a Friday evening:  four adults in their fifties on a field trip to the new store.  They were picking up pretentious foods and laughing at them and generally having more fun than I have ever seen anyone have in Whole Foods before, where the customers are usually remarkably sour-faced.  I wanted to be with these fun people, rather than dodging dirty looks as I shopped for the ingredients for a blue cheese cheesecake for a friend's party.  Later, I saw all four of them seated at the bar, whooping it up as only people who were born in the fifties can. It must be all the martinis and cigarettes they were exposed to in utero.


At the Tea Bazaar:  "We're going to Carltons and we'll be chasing little Christian boys around."
"So Carlton's is a gay bar?"


Garrett St. on a rainy afternoon:  A guy steps out of his car, fumbles frowningly with an umbrella, which, when he gets it fully opened, turns out to be a teeny-tiny child's umbrella colored a jaunty blue and yellow with Bob the Builder pictured on it.  It was barely big enough to cover his bald spot let alone his entire head.  He walked a short way, and gave up, closed the umbrella and just let himself get wet.

At the Tea Bazaar:  "...so a fight started and then they were taking out their guns."
"Drag queens with guns?"
"Yup."  (The Tea Bazaar, it turns out, is a rich source of overheardisms.)

At the Mudhouse:  "...you and your soft-centered, egotistical attitude...He's a terrible teacher...He thinks he's so great, but he's the worst teacher I've ever had...horrific...just, fucking...how dare you...how do you know it's Sunday?  Let me get a five-gallon bucket and...."  (This was all part of a non-stop, highly articulate rant from one graduate student to another that I could only hear snippets of because Mudhouse is so noisy.)


2 comments:

  1. This post was a win-win-win! Except for the groundhog, I guess. A groundhog bone windchime. How chic!

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  2. Oh my goodness,
    I'm so glad I don't live in Charlottesville, I think.
    I thought the Kiwi's were weird, but I think you Virginians got us beat.

    Really loved the umbrella.

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